Who puts your pants in the washing machine?
My wife. I’m not allowed near the laundry these days because I do it wrong apparently. There is always one solo sock left in the drum when I do the washing. I like to think that we haven’t lost one but rather they are breeding in there and we have actually gained one. I can’t fold towels either. It took getting married to discover this awful void in my skill set.
Which words make you giggle or give you an inner flip of amusement?
I like the word slacks, as in the trousers… slaaaacccks. It sounds so 70’s. Also very fond of the Dutch word for slippers, pontoffel, how cute is that?
Tell us about your favourite addictions.
Cheese is a big one. According to my mother I could say cheese before I could say mama. I can spend a happy hour just browsing in a continental supermarket cheese aisle. And of course cheese wouldn’t be the same without a little wine.
What’s your favourite comedy routine of all time?
Probably Dave Allen’s routine about teaching a kid to tell the time. He was an absolute master of storytelling. A large part of his telly show was him, suited, sitting in a chair with a whisky and cigarette on the go and just talking and it was brilliant. Imagine trying to convince a channel to show that these days.
Where is your favourite place to go for food during the Edinburgh Fringe?
The Witchery has been a favourite over the years, I love its gothic splendour. I imagine I am a vampire on a nice night out.
What’s the weirdest thing an audience member has ever said to you?
“Can I lift you up”? I politely declined the offer.
What have you learned about life through performing at the Fringe?
Don’t get too distracted by what other people are doing. I can guarantee they’re not thinking about what you are doing.
If you could be in a sketch with any two living comedians, who would they be and what would the sketch be about?
John Cleese and Bette Midler dressed as vikings breaking the news to me that I am not their natural daughter but rather they stole me on one of their invasions and me resolutely refusing to accept the news in the most British way.
Tell us about a coincidence or piece of luck that led you to where you are today.
I don’t think luck has played a leading role in this production. I can’t think of one incident where it influenced my future. Who knows, maybe my big lucky break is just around the corner (but probably not).
Who are you most excited about seeing this year?
It’s always good to take a complete punt and see people you have never heard of before so I look forward to being surprised. To be honest I haven’t even flicked through the brochure yet but that is not unusual for me. I am normally in complete denial that the festival is happening and I am part of it until I get off the plane in Edinburgh. Then it becomes very very real.
What can you definitely advise us against doing in Edinburgh?
Staying out until 5am every day. I did that one year in Edinburgh and I was a husk of a human by the end of the Fridge.
Catch Zoe Lyons: Entry Level Human at Gilded Balloon at The Museum at 5.15pm, 1 – 26 August
As seen on Live at the Apollo (BBC Two), Mock the Week (BBC Two), Room 101 (BBC One) and regularly heard on BBC Radio 4’s News Quiz, Just a Minute, The Now Show and plenty more. This hugely popular comic returns to the Fringe with a fresh crop of quick-fire observational gags, delivered with utter conviction not to mention ‘proper laugh-out-loud one-liners’ (Herald). ‘Lyons is on top of her game: in command of her material, her audience and her stage’ **** (Chortle.co.uk). ‘An hour of intelligent observations and hilarious character comedy’ **** (ThreeWeeks).