Impertinent Questions for John Hastings

28 Jul

John HastingsWhat is your favourite synonym for “bum”?

Pun pun or shit cutter brah.

Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?

All of them. Someone said cranberries once and I died.

Who should come to see your show and why?

I am proper and even haters can gain entry but should step to the left.

Who are you excited about seeing this year?

Me in a mirror.

Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?

Tuna melt and some garlic chips. So my kisses that night will be memorable.

Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.

See above tuna kiss answer

How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?

Show not long. Pre-show Quaaludes are a bit more of a gorilla to remove one’s self from.

In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make?

I don’t play that game. I live it.

What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?

I once fucked a beehive in the name of fishing rights. That seems similar to this.

Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?

My faith in Jesus and my need to be an atheist.

Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.

He is not being paid for the festival.

 

Buy tickets for John Hastings: 10 John Hastings I Hate About You here

9.30pm | Monkey Barrel | 1-25 Aug

 

 

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