What is your favourite synonym for “bum”?
The coal hole.
Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?
As he’s a father, Chris is desperately trying to curb his swearing. Often this leads to lots of hilarious subversions suchs as “Ffflippin’ wally-pops” and “Blo-omin’ wagglestaff!”
Who should come to see your show and why?
It’s very silly stuff. Incredibly niche and really not for everybody. That said, it would be lovely if everybody came.
The only other thing to note is that we have found that our ‘fanbase’ do steal, so keep an eye on your valuables.
Who are you excited about seeing this year?
Ooh, there so many exciting acts to see! Top of the list is probably Jayne Edwards as Top Bodybuilder Brian. We’re also excited to see new shows from Jen Brister, Jess Fostekew, Sunil Patel, Nick Elleray, Alasdair Beckett-King, Desiree Burch, David Callaghan, Richard Brown. And that’s not even scratching the surface. Sure we’ll be able to squeeze in sleep somewhere.
Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?
Bobby Davro, wearing nowt but a bowtie and holding a tatty dog. Not really, just love the idea of this popping up on his Google Alerts.
Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.
We roll out of our bunk bed before dawn. The day starts with us screaming the word “success” into each other’s faces as the sun rises. The morning is dedicated to a mixture of silent prayer and frenzied internet searches. We perform the show and none of the audience have nosebleeds. As has become tradition, we’ll finish up the day with a tatty dog. Then another. And another. Quick trip to A&E to get the chest pains checked out. Doctor tells us it’s probably wise to lay off the tatty dogs. Sure, we’ll just finish this last one.
How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?
Our show is in the highly coveted noon spot so we tend to follow it, rather boringly, with cold pop and frantic admin.
In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make?
In our show we pose the ultimate ‘would you rather’ question to an audience member. Here’s the impossible choice; would you rather eat one bowl of your own shit or have a million pounds tax free? Tough one.
What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?
Brexit’s like a trip to Frankie & Benny’s. A nostalgia-fuelled attempt to recreate a history that never was, where all you’re really doing is crunching down 3 courses of shit.
Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?
We’re surrounded by friends and loved ones. All of them have told us, from the bottom of their hearts, that we should stop. We won’t though. Not until the council puts a bullet in our brains.
Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.
Our agent’s been begging us with tears in her eyes to stop describing our show as “the sexiest Manga ever”. We’ve also been forbidden from revealing our actual ages. Isn’t the skateboard enough?
Buy tickets for The Delightful Sausage: Ginster’s Paradise here
12 noon | Monkey Barrel | 2-12, 15-25 Aug