Tag Archives: Assembly Festival

Impertinent Questions for Rob Auton

17 Jul

What is your favourite synonym for “bum”?

Backside. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s not the side of your back is it? It’s the bottom of your back. I’d rather say backside than bottom though.

Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?   

Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Who should come to see your show and why?

People who want to see a lanky man from Yorkshire trying to get his head around time through words from 2.50pm to 3.50pm should come to see it. They should come because if that is what they want to see, that is exactly what I’m going to be doing.

Who are you excited about seeing this year?

There’s a street performing magician on the Royal Mile who I always seek out.  He’s been doing it for so long he seems to have a line about everything that could possibly happen in the street. Wil Greenway, Garry Starr, anyone on Bob’s bus

Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?

My mate John Osborne who I’m also looking forward to seeing put a bag of Haribo fizzy cherries in my free fringe collections bucket once and I realised those sweets are exactly the hit I require when I come off stage. I think I ate the whole pack in five handfuls.  There’s an itch I need to scratch after a show and those sweets are the closest I’ve come to easing its irritation.

Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.

Wake up having slept. Have a shower in a shower that works with shower gel that hasn’t been stolen.  Eat some food that doesn’t disagree with me. Practise my show and come up with a new idea to try out that day. Walk down the street without getting flyered in an aggressive way. Do the show to an audience who are in the mood for it and shout memorable things at me. Go for a curry at Mother India. See a show that makes me have ideas for tomorrow’s show.

How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?

It depends. I think there’s been some shows that I still haven’t fully recovered from. They can change you forever I think.  Some shows make me lose faith in people and other shows give me faith and a will to continue.

In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make? 

I haven’t played it before. Is it a good way to unwind after a show? Is it questions like “Would you rather give up or continue doing comedy after that gig?”

What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?

I don’t have one.

Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?

Not making it has helped me believe I must keep going and trying to get better. Imagine if I had made it. I would have been able to think of an answer for that Brexit question I reckon.

Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.

That I get impatient when answering interview questions and end up just typing anything on the last question.

 

Buy tickets for Rob Auton: The Time Show here

2.50pm | Assembly George Square | 31 July, 1-12, 14-26 Aug

 

Impertinent Questions for Nick Helm

14 Jul

Nick Helm

What is your favourite synonym for “bum”?

Arse.

Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?

My Mum’s.

Who should come to see your show and why?

There are a lot of shows up here. So many to see. So much to do. And that will all still be right there waiting for you once everyone has come to see both my shows first.

Who are you excited about seeing this year?

Paul F Taylor, Annie McGrath, Colin Hoult/Anna Mann, Jordan Brookes, Seann Walsh, Jen Brister, Rhys James. I don’t know, I don’t really like comedy.

Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?

All I want when I come off stage is for someone to just hold me in their arms, rock me back and forth and tell me everything will be alright and that it wasn’t all for nothing. That and a sausage roll and a Magner’s.

Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.

All shows cancelled due to electrical shortages. Then haggis.

How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?

If the show goes very badly then surprisingly no time at all. I don’t really need to “come down” after a gig anymore, but if it goes well, I try to enjoy it for as long as possible. I think it’s important to mark a personal achievement in some way and celebrate the little things in life, before some cunt comes along and ruins it.

In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make?

What I’ll watch on Netflix instead.

What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?

I thought it was funny when Brexit was being initially floated that the politicians kept saying if we leave Europe then we’ll hold all the cards. It depends what game sure, but usually if you’re playing cards and you’re holding all of them, it means that you are shit at cards.

Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?

My Mum, my Dad and Jimmy Carr.

Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.

I’m a softly spoken, mild mannered, nerd from Hertfordshire.

Buy tickets for Nick Helm: Phoenix from the Flames here

5.40pm | Pleasance Dome | 31 July, 1-11, 13-24 Aug

Buy tickets for Nick Helm’s I Think, You Stink! here

9.45pm | Assembly Roxy | 31 July, 1-11, 13-24 Aug

Punchline recommends Lazy Susan: Forgive Me, Mother!

13 Aug

Photograph of Lazy SusanWords by Suzy Romer

If you haven’t seen Lazy Susan before then this is the year to go. Every year there’s one show I have to see twice and this is it. They perform high-energy, engaging comedy with a freaky dark edge that sweeps you up from the beginning and takes you over completely for an hour of hysterical fun.

Celeste Dring and Freya Parker move in and out of formal sketches and their stage personas with skilful ease and apply their wicked sense of humour to fashionable concepts and popular expressions. They are particularly funny as wide-eyed, high voiced sisters who are cute and unsettling in equal measures. They also impersonate bad men too well to forget. Like all the best horror writers, they vary their subject matter until something really gets under your skin. The sketch that did it for me was one where a Ginger Rogers-like character tells a Fred Astaire-like character that he is repellent while he cheerily brushes off her words LIKE A PSYCHOPATH as if she were flirting with him. I hardly dare go back to the originals now.

The structure and writing of this show are absolutely flawless and as an audience member, all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. These two performers know exactly how to make us laugh and keep us guessing until the bloody end, but perhaps I’ve said too much.

Catch Lazy Susan: Forgive Me, Mother! at Assembly George Square at 4.20pm througout August.

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