Who puts your pants in the washing machine?
I do, then put them in the dryer, then get dressed from the dryer. Cutting out the middle man. No folding and putting things in drawers. I’m not wasting my time with that bullshit.
Which words make you giggle or give you an inner flip of amusement?
Epiphany. I’m not into the drink but I like the word Sangria.
Tell us about your favourite addictions.
Love and sex. And/or ketamine.
What’s your favourite comedy routine of all time?
Patrice O’Neal’s bit about Natalee Holloway in Elephant In The Room.
The comic Earthquake had a bit about Martha Stewart getting her prison sentence on his One Night Stand.
Where is your favourite place to go for food during the Edinburgh Fringe?
Red Box Noodle Bar
What’s the weirdest thing an audience member has ever said to you?
“I saw you at the Fringe last year you were phenomenal.” I wasn’t at the Fringe last year.
What have you learned about life through performing at the Fringe?
The concept of ‘the industry’ and what you need to do to get work is an amorphous concept that doesn’t exist and that the people ‘in charge’, if they do exist, have no idea what they are doing.
If you could be in a sketch with any two living comedians, who would they be and what would the sketch be about?
I would do a sketch with James Acaster and Josh Widdicombe called “Soft Boys” and it would be a pastiche of Men Behaving Badly about three nice boys sharing a flat and taking turns with the ironing and talking whimsically about their feelings.
Tell us about a coincidence or piece of luck that led you to where you are today.
Because of a terrible film I was in, I became friends with someone who invited me on a trip where I met some people who go on to became some of the most important people in my whole life who have influenced and helped me for the last ten years. I guess the lesson is be in bad films.
Who are you most excited about seeing this year?
I’m excited to see whatever Lou Sanders has conjured up this year. And I want to know what Luke McQueen has planned. Both of these performers are genuinely exciting in a way live comedy often is not. By which I mean I’m scared of them.
What can you definitely advise us against doing in Edinburgh?
Seeing six shows in a day. You think it will be fun but you’ll fall asleep in two of them and it can be quite upsetting for performers. They typically hate sleeping audience members. Honestly they are quite needy when you think about it.
Catch Brett Goldstein: What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me at the Pleasance Courtyard at 7pm, 1 – 26 August
Sex. Porn. Love. Addiction. Can Brett tell the difference? Brett Goldstein, award-winning comic, actor and writer, returns with a new stand-up show about relationships, psychology, living in a post-porn world and the hell that is being in love. Come help him through this difficult time. ‘Sharply written, impeccably delivered, always charming… Warm, wise stuff’ (Daily Telegraph). ‘Fast paced, dark and brutal, and performed with skill and ease… Oddly philosophical and fascinating.’ (WhatsOnStage.com).
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