Impertinent Questions for Josie Long

What is your favourite synonym for “bum”?

Arse.

Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?

Janey Godley

Who should come to see your show and why?

Everyone. Because it is going to be great.

Who are you excited about seeing this year?

Honestly I am so out of the loop I am excited to discover people.

Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?

Twelve hours of deep sleep please. PLEASE.

Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.

Right now, it would be one without childcare where I could swim in the sea at Portobello and then eat a jacket potato, do my show and then drink with my dear old funny pals.

How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?

I really love that at Edinburgh you share flats with other comedians, it means you can always stay up late after shows chatting and eating ill-advised extra meals.

In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make?

I refuse to play this game because my life is ebbing away.

What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?

WHEN WILL IT END.

Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?

I do not believe I am going to make it in comedy.

Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.

I REFUSE. Bye guys x

Buy tickets for Josie Long: Tender here

8.20pm | The Stand | 1-11, 13-18, 20-25 Aug

@JosieLong