What is your favourite synonym for “bum”?
Backside. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s not the side of your back is it? It’s the bottom of your back. I’d rather say backside than bottom though.
Whose swearing makes you laugh the most?
Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Who should come to see your show and why?
People who want to see a lanky man from Yorkshire trying to get his head around time through words from 2.50pm to 3.50pm should come to see it. They should come because if that is what they want to see, that is exactly what I’m going to be doing.
Who are you excited about seeing this year?
There’s a street performing magician on the Royal Mile who I always seek out. He’s been doing it for so long he seems to have a line about everything that could possibly happen in the street. Wil Greenway, Garry Starr, anyone on Bob’s bus
Imagine you come off stage and find a wish come true. Which food/drink/present/person would be waiting for you?
My mate John Osborne who I’m also looking forward to seeing put a bag of Haribo fizzy cherries in my free fringe collections bucket once and I realised those sweets are exactly the hit I require when I come off stage. I think I ate the whole pack in five handfuls. There’s an itch I need to scratch after a show and those sweets are the closest I’ve come to easing its irritation.
Describe your perfect day at the Fringe.
Wake up having slept. Have a shower in a shower that works with shower gel that hasn’t been stolen. Eat some food that doesn’t disagree with me. Practise my show and come up with a new idea to try out that day. Walk down the street without getting flyered in an aggressive way. Do the show to an audience who are in the mood for it and shout memorable things at me. Go for a curry at Mother India. See a show that makes me have ideas for tomorrow’s show.
How long does it take to come down after a show and how do you do it?
It depends. I think there’s been some shows that I still haven’t fully recovered from. They can change you forever I think. Some shows make me lose faith in people and other shows give me faith and a will to continue.
In the game “Would You Rather?” what’s the hardest choice you have had to make?
I haven’t played it before. Is it a good way to unwind after a show? Is it questions like “Would you rather give up or continue doing comedy after that gig?”
What’s your favourite Brexit metaphor?
I don’t have one.
Who or what helped you believe you were going to make it in comedy?
Not making it has helped me believe I must keep going and trying to get better. Imagine if I had made it. I would have been able to think of an answer for that Brexit question I reckon.
Tell us something your agent doesn’t want us to know.
That I get impatient when answering interview questions and end up just typing anything on the last question.
Buy tickets for Rob Auton: The Time Show here
2.50pm | Assembly George Square | 31 July, 1-12, 14-26 Aug